Shoe virus on the prowl

Red Alert! Red Alert! The shoe virus has attacked once again. This time it is none other than BJP's prime ministerial candidate L K Advani and the place is Katni in Madhya Pradesh. The name of the perpetrator who borne the virus is Pawas Agarwal, former BJP district president, which means it came from BJP's own family members. It is all the more alarming. Regarded as one of the most deadly virus to have attacked India, this shoe virus is turning out to be a kind of epidemic that the world has never seen before, its spreading like widefire and anybody can be a victim of it.

According to psychologist, the early symptoms are very hard to figure out but psychologist has said it is highly contagious and might spread more quickly then the species I, II and III combined. It is triggered by Aggresion, violence and greed and an instant desire to attain fame, though the shoe-virus victim camoflageous it well as a way of activistic protest.

Psychologist have cautioned that it might lead to more dangerous consequences and the perpetrator may well in future throw something else, like socks, shirts, t-shirts and underwears too and if that doesnt quench his quest, he/she may take to tv, radio, cellphones and even tables and chairs.

The government has sprang into action and has decided to hold all public rallies and meeting through tele and video conferencing after its proposal of holding those in an open ground with minimum clothes (read underwear) were vehemently protested by social activists.

Even the national security agency have decided to look into the matter as it might led to national shame if someone decides to repeat the act when some other countries premiere visit to India.

However, Bollywood remains unfazed and director of 'Stoneman murderers' is already toying with the idea of making a sequel on this deadly virus, titled 'Shoe-man hurler'.

However, on a positive front, after Jarnail Singh was appointed as the brand ambassador of Reebok, there has been a lot of competition. But the growing number of shoe-throwers have diluted the competition as each of the shoemakers can have their respective ambassadors according to their brand requirement.

According to latest reports, there would be an auction for the most prized shoe-thrower and he would be honoured with the 'Shoeman of the millenium' by none other than Showman himself, Subhash Ghai.





Note: The post should be taken in right spirit and humour and not as an intention of maligning or disreputing anybody.

Aftermath of Shoegate

Journalist Jarnail Singh has finally done it which others have not dared to do in India or in the sub-continent so far. His lobbing a size eight Reebok shoe on the Home Minister P Chidambaram in protest against the clean-chit given to 1984 sikh riot accused Jagdish Tytler has made him an instant hero (like instant noodles) and also made him richer by Rs 2 lakhs (not to mention the great escape, thanks to Chidambaram's magnanimity or I should say political backlash in the times of Lok sabha elections).

Well, all that may be old news, there are certain exclusive earthshaking and trendsetting news at our hands which we would like to share.

1. Jarnail's audacious shoe lobbing has bagged him a two year contract with shoe maker Reebok as their official brand ambassador, removing Yuvraj Singh.

2. Looking at his heroic and celebrity stature after the shoe-gate (like slap-gate) incident, Sony television has decided to come up with a reality show where participants would be judged on their accuracy or their shoe-throwing ability since all the perpetrators of the act worldwide have so far missed their respective target.

3. Considering at the prospect of making their kids instant celebrities, parents in every household are persuading their wards to leave the ball (football, volleyball, tennis ball, ping pong ball and all sort of balls) and take to shoe and are asking them to practice the act at home, day in and day out, so that they can win the reality contest instantly once they are aired on primetime.

4. Also it has been learnt that all the stalwarts of the tinsel town are making a beeline outside Jarnail's house, to cast him as a lead actor in the film with the name, 'Shoeman millionaire'. It would be one of the high budget movies and many actors are already wooing the role, including Irfan Khan, who according to reports, has left the steeplechase role and is practising the shoe hurling act, to bag the role.

5. However, there are some business houses who are seriously looking at the act as a deviation from the normal usage of the shoe and so are considering to come up with a statutory warning in the shoe, reading, "Please use it for wearing only. Hurling,
lobbing or any kind of pyrotechnics with it can be harmful to health."





Note: The post should be taken in good spirit and in good humour and not as an activistic way of freedom of expression.