The old lady at the traffic signal

It was a blistering afternoon and I was already running behind time for my office so I decided to board an autorickshaw. I had an assignment somehere at Defence Colony. On the way, the auto halted near the Mulchand flyover red light. I glanced at my watch, it was around 10:30am and the road was chock-a-block.

In the cacophony of the dinning horns and sound of the engines, I was trying to concentrate on my yet-to-attend assignment, as it was my first assignment after joining my new office. I was trying to figure out the questions that I was going to ask the cricketers, playing the informations time and again in my mind. Just then a voice broke my reverie.

"Beta,...beta?" the voice said, in a rather emotional note.
Even in that escalating pandemonium of different noises, her voice were very clear and almost jolted me out of my day dreams.
"My daughter is pregnant, she is bleeding and needs medical help or else her baby may die.
"Please help me, beta, please help me."
I turned and looked at her. She must be above 60, I thought.
Her eyes were embedded in the skull and cheeks sans any flesh, as if they were just stuck on her facial bones. she looked very feeble and weak.
I then turned to have a look at her daughter. A rather too young girl to be a mother, how can she be a mother? It can't be -- was my first reaction. But then when I turned my eyes to her abdomen, I realised I was wrong. Her abdomen was swollen and she had covered it with her saree.
"It is not about money beta, I am in a very dificult situation that's why i am asking you, please help me beta," the grand old lady continued.
".....I have to take her to a hospital immediately or else anything can happen, please have mercy."
All my life I have been rather too emotional while dealing with such situation. But coming to Delhi had made me quite the oppostive of my usual self. Also the alarming number of fradulant situations and characters that I had come across in all these months in the capital made me quite a hard nut to crack.
But being at that situation and seeing that old lady and her daughter in such a condition, put me in an uncomfortable situation for reasons that I have no answer. Moreover, in these last few days I had come accross many reports of many pregnant women dying either because of the negligance of the doctors or the people to whom they had seeked help.
Those haunting reports now started hovering in my mind as the lady kept pleading for help. I tried to withdraw myself from the whole situation turning a deaf ear to her words more than once as she continued, "don't be so inhuman beta, please help me...I will pay your money back, give me your address and phone number."
Meanwhile, the light turned green and the blowing horns of the vehicles touched a crescendo. As the vehicles parked ahead of my autorickshaw started moving, I realised, although a little, it will still take some time to clear the mess.
I knew within the next few seconds I will be gone, leaving the lady on the road and I will never meet her ever in my life and since there was nothing by which I could have proved if she was telling the truth I was sure I was doing the right thing by not offering her the money. But my mind gave way to my heart and in a haste I took out a Rs 100 note and handed it over to the old lady as my auto slowly started to make a move.
No sooner I had handed over the note, all of a sudden her expression changed. Without saying a word, she just walked away and there was a strange blank look on those eyes which just a few seconds ago were flooded with helplessness and humility.
My Auto engine was roaring now as it was racing ahead. With each moment the lady was gradually getting lost in the maddening crowd of humans and vehicles and soon she was completely out of my sight.
Many days have passed since then, although she has been out of sight ever since then but she certainly has not been out of my mind. I still ponder whether I did the right thing by offering her the money. I still don't have any answer to that.
Recently, I told the incident to my friends and unanimously they offered me the same feedback: I had actually made a fool of myself. May be yes, may be no but one thing for sure it certainly taught me a lesson. But should I repent, to be frank and honest I don't know yet.

Shoe virus on the prowl

Red Alert! Red Alert! The shoe virus has attacked once again. This time it is none other than BJP's prime ministerial candidate L K Advani and the place is Katni in Madhya Pradesh. The name of the perpetrator who borne the virus is Pawas Agarwal, former BJP district president, which means it came from BJP's own family members. It is all the more alarming. Regarded as one of the most deadly virus to have attacked India, this shoe virus is turning out to be a kind of epidemic that the world has never seen before, its spreading like widefire and anybody can be a victim of it.

According to psychologist, the early symptoms are very hard to figure out but psychologist has said it is highly contagious and might spread more quickly then the species I, II and III combined. It is triggered by Aggresion, violence and greed and an instant desire to attain fame, though the shoe-virus victim camoflageous it well as a way of activistic protest.

Psychologist have cautioned that it might lead to more dangerous consequences and the perpetrator may well in future throw something else, like socks, shirts, t-shirts and underwears too and if that doesnt quench his quest, he/she may take to tv, radio, cellphones and even tables and chairs.

The government has sprang into action and has decided to hold all public rallies and meeting through tele and video conferencing after its proposal of holding those in an open ground with minimum clothes (read underwear) were vehemently protested by social activists.

Even the national security agency have decided to look into the matter as it might led to national shame if someone decides to repeat the act when some other countries premiere visit to India.

However, Bollywood remains unfazed and director of 'Stoneman murderers' is already toying with the idea of making a sequel on this deadly virus, titled 'Shoe-man hurler'.

However, on a positive front, after Jarnail Singh was appointed as the brand ambassador of Reebok, there has been a lot of competition. But the growing number of shoe-throwers have diluted the competition as each of the shoemakers can have their respective ambassadors according to their brand requirement.

According to latest reports, there would be an auction for the most prized shoe-thrower and he would be honoured with the 'Shoeman of the millenium' by none other than Showman himself, Subhash Ghai.





Note: The post should be taken in right spirit and humour and not as an intention of maligning or disreputing anybody.

Searching Lashmi Rai

Perusing through the pages of the internet in search of some interesting news on IPL, I stumbled on an AFP report about the Bollywood bonanza in the African nation. Amidst the numerous names like Priety Zinta, Shilpa Shetty and others all of a sudden I chanced upon a name called Lakshmi Rai that I had never heard. Being a film aficionado, it hit me hard as how come I don't know anything about this damsel which the paper claimed to be a Bollywood actress. If that was not enough, the paper also claimed that she was having a romantic liaison with none other than the Indian skipper Mahendra (Mohini) Singh Dhoni.

This bit of information was enough to shake me off my feet and i raised half bemused and half anguished at ignorance and I decided to dig out everything that i find about her. Well, here what I found.

First of all, she is not a bollywood actress but a tollywood or I should say south Indian actress but there is no point in blaming the guys who addressed her as a bollywood actress as they hardly have any idea about the enormity of the film industry in this part of the country. We don't only have bollywood here, there are a lot of woods like Tollywood (both for Tamil and Kolkata 'Tallyganj') and Mollywood (Malayalam) and a lot of other woods would come up in the future, aping the west.

However, its the second information that left be all the more confused as wikipedia claims she had a romatic relationship with Indian Cricket's slap boy S Sreesanth. It plunged me into a deep thought as if she was in a relation with Sreesanth why should she be here for MSD. May be she would know it better...

However, the exercise lessened my guilt of ignorance to a large extent as I have not seen any south Indian films aprt from those hindi translated ones. So it means it doesnt fall in my scheme of things. Bravo, I am not that ignorant afterall....... or m I?

The Great Indian Political drama award

The Great Indian Political drama is gearing up with the Lok
Sabha elections just a whisker away and as a kick off ceremony
we want to present before you the 'best of the best' awards
which would motivate and inspire our politician to carry on the
juggernaut for another five years (or less) to come.

Here it goes:

1. Most original idea award: Samajwadi Party supremo Mulayam
Singh for his out-of-the-box (Out of the universe) party
manifesto of banning English in education and computers in new
projects.

2. Best villian with a great escape award: Congress leader
Jagdish Tytler for escaping the sword after the CBI gave him a
clean chit in the 1984 anti-sikh riot case.

3. Best debutant and critics award: Dainik Jagran journalist
Jarnail Singh for lobbing his shoe at Home Minister PC
Chidambaram during a press Conference.

4. Life time achievement award: Former Prime Minister Atal
Bihari Vajpayee for emerging as the longest serving politician
that the nation has ever produced. Recently he was discharged
from AIIMS as doctors declared him fit to go home after 26 days
of stay at the Intensive Care Unit. 84-year-old Vajpayee piped L
K Advani by a whisker as Advani is three years younger and alive
and kicking. Advani need not worry as he is assured of his life
time achievement award next year if everything goes unwell.

5. Best MQ (Melodramatic quotient) award: To the two Ms of Indian
politics, BSP chief Mayawati and 'mother India' Maneka gandhi for
their melodramatic drama over Mother Teresa (she must be tossing
in her grave).

6. Best Actor, Script writer and Best Director: New kid in the
block BJP colt Varun Gandhi for dishing out the best seller,
most heartrendering performance in his potboiling Muslim bashing
episode in a public rally in Pilibhit which threatened the
national security as it broke lose a war of words in the cyber
world between India and Pakistan.

Aftermath of Shoegate

Journalist Jarnail Singh has finally done it which others have not dared to do in India or in the sub-continent so far. His lobbing a size eight Reebok shoe on the Home Minister P Chidambaram in protest against the clean-chit given to 1984 sikh riot accused Jagdish Tytler has made him an instant hero (like instant noodles) and also made him richer by Rs 2 lakhs (not to mention the great escape, thanks to Chidambaram's magnanimity or I should say political backlash in the times of Lok sabha elections).

Well, all that may be old news, there are certain exclusive earthshaking and trendsetting news at our hands which we would like to share.

1. Jarnail's audacious shoe lobbing has bagged him a two year contract with shoe maker Reebok as their official brand ambassador, removing Yuvraj Singh.

2. Looking at his heroic and celebrity stature after the shoe-gate (like slap-gate) incident, Sony television has decided to come up with a reality show where participants would be judged on their accuracy or their shoe-throwing ability since all the perpetrators of the act worldwide have so far missed their respective target.

3. Considering at the prospect of making their kids instant celebrities, parents in every household are persuading their wards to leave the ball (football, volleyball, tennis ball, ping pong ball and all sort of balls) and take to shoe and are asking them to practice the act at home, day in and day out, so that they can win the reality contest instantly once they are aired on primetime.

4. Also it has been learnt that all the stalwarts of the tinsel town are making a beeline outside Jarnail's house, to cast him as a lead actor in the film with the name, 'Shoeman millionaire'. It would be one of the high budget movies and many actors are already wooing the role, including Irfan Khan, who according to reports, has left the steeplechase role and is practising the shoe hurling act, to bag the role.

5. However, there are some business houses who are seriously looking at the act as a deviation from the normal usage of the shoe and so are considering to come up with a statutory warning in the shoe, reading, "Please use it for wearing only. Hurling,
lobbing or any kind of pyrotechnics with it can be harmful to health."





Note: The post should be taken in good spirit and in good humour and not as an activistic way of freedom of expression.